


No darkness, no light

by Centum



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: M/M, SWTOR, theron shan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 18:48:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6578200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Centum/pseuds/Centum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Theron doesn't come home from work, Marnh knows the Imperium is out to get them. He has to stop them, and so he takes his best friend and goes after his husband.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this so long time ago, or more like, pushed it out of me. It is not perfect, and it has been the hardest thing for me to write, in many ways. It has been rewritten several times. At some point I would like to tell you about Eda, and before I get to that, you have to know how her Dada and Daddy ended to be where they are when Eda comes to their life. This story tells what happened to them.

1.

I wake up, trembling and sweating. I stare into the darkness, desperately gasping for air. My hand is patting the mattress in panic, trying to find Theron. Finally, it touches his warm shoulder and a calming wave of relief fills me.

“It was just a bad dream,” I whisper and snuggle closer to him.

" _Would you die for him_?" A voice in my dream had asked of me.

I would. But it was just a dream. I don't get visions. No one is dying.

I crawl under Theron's blanket and spoon myself against his comforting back. I stare at the darkness and listen to Theron breathing in deep sleep. Finally, I fall back to sleep again.

In the morning I have hard time to shake off the ominous feeling of my dream. My stomach hurts. Theron leaves to the SIS-headquarters. He has two classes to teach today. I leave for my work in the Senate. I have tons of background work to do before negotiations with some Outer Rim-worlds will begin again. I try to concentrate on my work, but the pinch in my stomach stays.

When I come back home, the restless feeling just keeps getting stronger. I prepare the dinner, but Theron is late. He is never late. The pinch in my stomach just gets stronger and I know for sure something is very wrong. Theron calls me if he is late, no exceptions. I have lived with that man for almost seven years and this is the first time something like this happens. He knows I get easily worried, he knows how much I care, so he makes sure I don't have to worry. I try to tell myself that there must be a perfectly good explanation, and tomorrow I will laugh at myself for being like an old, senile wife. But deep in me, I know that this time I will not laugh. Something bad has happened to Theron.

Finally, I try to contact him through his implant, but I can't get through. Fear makes me nauseated.

I connect the Force, and make a final, useless attempt to locate him. We share a connection, but Theron is not Force sensitive. I can feel him if he is near to me, but now he is not. I can't find him.

I startle when the alarm on the door beeps. I run to the door in hopes it is Theron with amnesia, and he has just forgotten his keys, among the code for the door. But it is not Theron, it is the Director. Theron's boss. I swallow. Fear inside me spreads its black wings, wrapping me in them.

"Where is he?" I ask, with a voice hard as a stone.

"Please, sit down, we need to talk," the Director says, leading me to the couch. I sit down. My hands are grabbing my knees so hard my knuckles are white.

"Theron never came to work today. This is not like him. We verified you are in the Senate, so he couldn't be with you. Clearly he was not at home, we tried to call, but no one answered. His implant is mute so I can't contact his comlink. We checked all the hospitals and Coruscant Security and no sign of him."

" The Imperium," I whisper. "And he is not in Coruscant anymore. I can't feel him, no matter how much I try. We share a connection, if he is not too far away from me, I can feel him."

"You can't possibly know it is the Imperium. It can be any criminal organization. Maybe they are after a ransom. He is a son of the Supreme Commander and they might think he is worth a hefty amount of credits," the Director says, trying to sound calm, probably to calm me down. But I'm well beyond calming.

"How could it be criminals? Since when have they kidnapped agents from the streets of Coruscant? It is the Imperium! They are after me. After all this time they are after me. They try to get to me through Theron. They try to make me do something stupid, something that makes me an easy prey. And you can fucking believe I'm almost there!" I yell.

"We are investigating all the possibilities. Meanwhile, please try to stay calm and wait. I know it is hard for you..." the Director tries to soothe me, in vain.

"I'M TELLING YOU IT IS THE IMPERIUM! You don't get to be a Darth and then just walk away. I've been waiting for years for them trying to punish me. I have waited, but I've not been afraid because I knew they would fail, every time. And look what they did. They knew exactly where to hit me. They use Theron as a bait, and they will kill him after they have killed me."

I have to stop to gasp air, I feel I'm suffocating from the fear and rage.

"Please, Marnh..." Theron's boss tries to put his hand on my shoulder. I throw it away and begin to pace frantically back and forth on the living room floor.

"I will go after him. You are all useless!" I yell again. I Seethe and I don't care. I will Seethe much more before Theron is safe again.

The Director watches in awe the red mist rising from me. I stop my pacing and stare at him. I can see him startle because after seven years of quiet, peaceful life I'm Darth Marnh again. He has never seen me like this.

"Marnh, we will handle this. Theron is our agent. We will find him. Just...calm down, and leave this to us...”

"NO! None of you are as good as I am! None of you understand the Sith like I do!" I shout and punch my fist into the wall. I hardly notice the pain radiating from my hand. Then I tower over the Director and I almost grab him by the throat. Almost.

"Now, this is what we are going to do. I will call to Jace Malcom and tell him to find the shuttle that took Theron from Coruscant. I have no idea how you incompetent fools haven't done it already. You, do something useful for once and find me Andronikos Revel. I need someone I can trust with me. Last time I heard from him, he was somewhere near Hoth. It was two weeks ago. When you find him just tell him to contact me and I'll take care of the rest. I'll call to my former apprentice and see if he knows anything that might be connected to this. I have things to do, go!"

The older man leaves, looking beaten down. He is not used to taking orders, but he has no interest to argue with a Sith Lord who is Seething from rage. Wise choice.

They took Theron. They managed to hit me where it would hurt most. They waited all this time to do it. Or maybe they just had their hands filled with other things before, and suddenly someone in the Dark Council decided it is high time to make me pay for my sins. Who knows what goes around in the heads of the Sith. They do things like this on a whim.

I call to Theron's father. Jace Malcom agrees with me when I tell him it must be the Imperium.

"I think so too. Theron is too damn good to be taken down by some riff raff from the street. The Imperium finally decided to get to you."

"I know military keeps records of every shuttle landing and leaving. Please, try to find the one they used to get him out from Coruscant. I'm absolutely sure they have taken him from here already. I can't feel him at all. Theron is not a Force sensitive, so tracking him through the Force is impossible for me, but I can feel him if he is not too far away. He is not in Coruscant anymore."

"What are you going to do? I will help you as much as I can, I can come with you..."

"No, don't. I'm a Sith Assassin. I take one of my old crew members with me and I go after him. You would just slow me down, no offence."

"I understand. I would be much more worried if I wouldn't know you so well by now. I'll see what I can find out now." Jace ends the call and I would crumble on the floor if I wouldn't be so focused on what I have to do. I don't have time to crumble now. I can do it later, when Theron is back home and safe. There isn't a place in my body that doesn't tremble from anxiousness, but the adrenaline keeps me going.

I call Xalek while waiting to hear something from Andronikos.

"Master, I think Khem Val becoming a personal guard for the Emperor could have something to do with this," Xalek tells me after I have told him Theron is missing.

Cold shivers are running through my spine. I feel dizzy.

"Khem Val is the Emperor's Wrath?"

"No, not Wrath. Being the Emperor's Wrath requires independent thinking and the ability to make decisions. Khem Val is a servant, not a leader. But he works now directly to the Emperor himself, and answers only to him. I couldn't stop this from happening. Khem Val never respected me like he respected you, and then the Emperor heard that I have a Dashade with me. A Dashade that used to work for one Darth Marnh, who betrayed the Empire for a man.The Emperor gets what he wants, and he wanted Khem Val."

"This is bad. This is so bad," I whisper. The Emperor has Khem Val. Khem Val knows everything about me, he has been my Shadow Killer. Theron knows him too.

"I've been wrecking my head, trying to understand how they got him. But if they used Khem Val, and we didn't know he is not with you anymore, they might have tricked him. Khem Val betrayed me."

My voice is breaking down from the sorrow. He was with me from the day one, but deep down in me I have always known Khem Val is more loyal to the Emperor than to me. I figure the Emperor has lent his Shadow Killer to the Dark Council. I'm not important enough to make the Emperor's head ache, but he wouldn't mind seeing me crushed by the Dark Council, just for the principle.

When I finish my call with Xalek, Andronikos calls me.

"Hi Boss! Now this is something, the SIS found me out and told me to contact you. What's up?"

"The Imperium has Theron. Jace Malcom is still finding out about the shuttle that took him from Coruscant, but I know it is the Imperium. They are after me. I will go after him. I ask you a lot, I know, but I want you to come with me. I trust you. We work well together." There is a plead in my voice.

"Boss, you know this is a trap, right?"

"I know, and I'm going to walk right into it and then out from it, with Theron."

"Well, when you put it like that, how could I say no?" Andronikos says and I can hear steel in his voice. "I like your hubby, he is a friend of mine too. We will get him out, in one piece, or my name is not Revel."

"I can't thank you enough! We will meet at the Military port. And bring me some clothes, you know what I need. I don't have anything else here than some useless, fancy rags. And blasters for Theron. That will be the first thing he'll ask," I tell him.

"I think there are some of your robes in your old cabin, we didn't bother to throw them away. And blasters coming. Anything else? Saber?" Andronikos asks.

"No, I have my saber here. Just come and get me," I end the call and then call to Jace Malcom.

"Give Andronikos Revel permission to dock to the Military spaceport, please. I'm leaving with him. Do you have anything new?"

"There was only one passenger today that caught the attention of the Security. He was a Dashade. You don't see them here for decades. The shuttle he came with was registered under the name of a well-known merchant from Nar Shaddaa, nothing strange there. But yes, a living Dashade had walked out of it."

"Where is that shuttle now?"

"It had checked out as leaving back to Nar Shaddaa after an hour, but there hasn't been a sign of them anywhere in Hutt-space. No one saw who boarded back to the shuttle. We don't really care about who leaves, only who comes. Do you know this Dashade?"

"I know. It is my old crew member, Khem Val. I just heard he works now for the Emperor himself. I figure he borrowed his new toy to the Dark Council, because Khem Val knows me and Theron. Theron might have walked into the trap, because we didn't know Khem Val is eating now from the Emperor's hand."

"That sounds much worse than I ever could imagine," Jace says.

I can hear a hint of panic in Jace's voice.

"I know. I'm not exactly calm here either. But we will find him and get him out, I promise."

I end my call with him after we have discussed all the details of my mission. I have to hurry. I find my old light-saber and weighed it in my hand. It feels comforting and familiar. Then I remember something. Theron uses high-tech bracelets when he works in the field. A year ago he got a new pair. The old ones should be here somewhere. I search the study and our bedroom, and finally I find them inside Theron's wardrobe. I'm relieved when I see that they are filled up with darts.

Love, I'll find you.

 

* * *

 

Theron is lying on his stomach on the dirty floor of the shuttle. Khem Val has handcuffed him with the cuffs that are impossible to pick, even for the Technoplague.

"Get rid of it," he hears Khem Val's voice...

...And then a heavy, armored boot of a Sith Warrior kicks him straight to the implant. It shatters into tiny pieces, sending white flashes of lightning through Theron's skull. Pain is all-consuming, disgusting wave that makes him vomit. He lingers on the fringe of his consciousness, fighting to not faint from the pain.

"There, they can't contact him now. Good thing you told us about that thing in his head."

"Little Sith will come after him soon."

Theron closes his eyes. There is nothing he can do now. Not when Khem Val is watching him like a hawk, and the shuttle is filled with the Sith.

"Why do you do this? Why do you betray him like this?" He whispers to Khem Val.

"Little Sith betrayed the Emperor, the Dark Council and Khem Val. For a filthy Republic-man. Khem Val would devour you right here, but it can wait. Khem Val will devour you both in front of the undying Emperor when the little Sith has been caught up too."

Theron begins to laugh, harsh, broken laugh that makes him cough.

"Marnh will kill you all," he whispers, blood dripping from the broken implant.

Then merciful darkness comes and Theron falls into it.

 

* * *

 

Note: In this alternate SWTOR-universe of mine the Emperor still lives. Whatever else I tried, it just didn't fit so I let him be alive. I've always been very...flexible...with lore when it comes to Theron and Marnh and the galaxy they live in. I wouldn't enjoy writing if I couldn't use my imagination to its full potent.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

2.

Jace Malcom has kept his promise, and pirate Andronikos Revel with his associate has docked to the Coruscant Military spaceport without problems. My old Fury is now called "The Wanderer", and Ashara is already waiting for me in the airlock. The moment my foot is in, Ashara shouts to Andronikos to leave and off we go.

Ashara hugs me. "I'm so sorry Marnh, I'm so sorry," she keeps whispering in my ear. "Me too," I whisper back to her.

"I have your clothes and blasters. I packed some Kolto and nutrients too, you never know in what shape he is when you find him," Ashara tells me when we walk together in my old cabin. "Maybe you should have asked Talos with you too?"

"No. He is too much of an Imperial. Not that I count it against him, but I can't stand the idea of losing another person I thought would be loyal to me. You have to stay on the ship too. I'll take only Andronikos with me. Three would be a crowd."

"I know. You need someone on the ship anyway."

I see that my old, black robes are waiting for me on the bed. On top of them is a military belt with two heavy blasters, a pouch filled with first-aids and a pack of water cubes in it.

"Ashara, you are the best girl in this galaxy, you know that?" I have to hug her again.

"Hush, Marnh, you are a married man, don't flirt with me," Ashara smiles, but her eyes are filled with worry.

She leaves, and I change into my old robes. I hang my saber on my belt. I tuck the military belt over my shoulder, so I can throw it to Theron in a second. I find a small bag for his bracelets, and I tie the bag on my belt too. I sit down on the floor and I meditate the Force for a moment. I'm too stressed out to think. I have to find strength to clear my head, because next thing on our agenda is actually to find out where they took him.

Theron is somewhere there, alone. He is probably hurt. Again, I try to feel him, I ask the Force to find him for me but it can't. I know it can't but I had to try.

"Please, let him be alive. Look after him, don't let them hurt him too much," I pray. "And let me kill Khem Val, painfully," I add to my prayer when I stand up and leave to the flight deck.

Andronikos is there, going through different comchannels. "Here is a comcode for you, it is Jace Malcom's. Could you call him and give him your comcode?" I ask.

"Right away, Boss."

While Andronikos calls to Jace, I sit next to him to think.

I have to figure this out, and there is not much time. Where could they take him? They definitely didn't go to Nar Shaddaa. They are not in the Hutt-space. It can't be any of the Republics worlds. It must be an Imperial world, and I think they would prefer the Sith-space. Easiest for them. No risk for unwanted surprises.

They want me, Theron is just an icing on the cake. They must understand I know I'm walking into the trap. They might believe my love for Theron will make me to do something restless, something stupid. Nevertheless, they know I'm coming for him. They are prepared to catch me.

So, it must be a place they know I find without them announcing it on the Holonet. It must be something small...lonely...not well-known...a place that has a connection to me...

Then it hits me.

"Andronikos, I know where they are. They are on Savek B. That's the mining colony where I was born and kept as a slave."

"Alright Boss, let me see what I can find out," Andronikos says, then he connects to the intergalactic database. I tap the dashboard anxiously with my fingers.

"Savek B seems to be abandoned now. It still has some inhabitants, few spaceports, nothing worth mentioning. A place which not even the smugglers and the pirates care about. Some minor Imperial military bases, probably just for the show-off. Looks like the Imperium mined it empty and pretty much left it on its own after that."

"Perfect. That's where we are going. Can you find us a port where to land near a place called Mohave Mountains? I bet they are there. I lived there until I was thrown into training. They want me to find him, and they are waiting for me. That's the only place I can think of. It has a connection to me, and it is in the Sith-space."

"I have to see where to land when we get there. Do you want me to tell Jace Malcom where we are going, before we jump to hyperspace?"

"Yes, please. I have to prepare."

"This will be a long ride. Try to eat and rest. I know I will. "The Wanderer" goes through hyperspace on autopilot," Andronikos warns me.

I go back to my old cabin and sit down to the floor. I need all the Dark Energy I can gather, so I begin to Seethe. I fall into a trance. The Force is whispering to me, I listen. I ask it to guide my hand, to be my eyes and ears. The Force is all around me, like a warm, red sunlight. I breathe it. My cells absorb it. I fall deeper and deeper. Time and space disappear.

 

* * *

 

Theron is sitting on the floor of his prison cell. It is a cage made out of solid light, placed in the middle of a large hall. When he studies carefully his surroundings, he figures they must be in a mine. Probably abandoned one. He must be in a main hall. The roof is high, higher than he can see. Layers and layers of catwalks are circling the walls. No machinery.

His head is still hurting. Dried blood is covering the left side of his face. His right side is hurting too, probably a broken rib. He will live if he gets out in one piece. He is trying to come up with different ways to break out, but there is none. He is trapped.

He stiffens when he sees a pair of boots stopping next to his cage. He lifts his head, looking at a Dark Lord. "Ugly fucker," he mumbles to himself. Must be a member of the Dark Council. Khem Val walks to the Dark Lord.

"So this worm is him,"The Dark Lord says to Khem Val.

"Yes, your Highness, this is the man Darth Marnh betrayed us all for."

"I wonder why. Well, who knows what these aliens think, if anything. The guards will alarm us when Darth Marnh has made his entrance. We will catch him and deliver both as a present to the Emperor. Or kill them. Doesn't really matter how and when they die," Darth Decimus says with a nonchalant voice and leaves. Khem Val just grunts something, then following him.

Theron's eyes track them leaving, then count the Sith Warriors guarding the main hall of the mine. Ten of them. Twenty Imperial soldiers. They don't take Marnh lightly, he gives them that!

He crosses his legs, takes a deep breath and falls into a trance, meditative technique he learned while training with the Jedi as a child. It dulls his pains and helps him regain his strength. He must be ready when Marnh arrives.

 

* * *

 

I come back from my trance when "The Wanderer" trembles and drops out from the hyperspace. I go to see if Andronikos is on the flight deck. He is, listening carefully the comchannels.

"Hi Boss, we are above the Savek B now. I've sliced into the Imperium's communications and found out all the spaceports on this planet are on full alert with extra military. You were right, Theron must be here. The moment we dock in any of these ports we are in deep shit," Andronikos says, looking annoyed.

"Figures. But I know you must have something on your sleeve?" I ask.

"Yep! It is called "Ashara's Shopping Bag". As it happens, I "found" this small shuttle, good for two people. Finders keepers. We use it to get to Mohave. We even modded it to have stealth, you know, the same the Republic agents use."

"We have one advantage they can't take away. I was born here. I worked in that mine until I was sixteen. I know every tunnel and ventilation shaft of that place, and we are going to use those shafts to go in. Then I will give them the time of their lives. Do you have explosives?"

"You bet. There is a box on cargo bay filled with all kinds of good stuff, just go and choose," Andronikos tells me.

Andronikos was right, and I find exactly what I was looking for. Small but powerful nukes, and a detonator for them. I go back to Andronikos.

"Khem Val is not a smart one, and definitely not someone the Sith would care to follow. There must be a Dark Lord of the Council too. We have to kill him, and Khem Val. Well, while we are at it, I think we just kill them all," I say, and I mean it. They are all going to die.

"I almost feel sorry for them. Who am I kidding, no I fucking don't," Andronikos grins and asks Ashara to take the command of the ship. Just when I'm leaving the flight deck, she grabs me from the sleeve.

"Please, take care of him for me, will you?" Ashara is looking at me with begging eyes. "He is all I have in this world."

My chest gets heavy. I realise she loves Andronikos, just like I love Theron. I wonder if Andronikos knows. Are they lovers? I don't think so. He acts like Ashara would be his little sister.

"I will, don't worry. I'll bring him back to you," I promise.

The shuttle flies in the atmosphere of Savek B without problems. We take our direction to Mohave Mountains.

When we arrive, I have finally figured out how we are going to get in.

"There is a hatch to the ventilation shafts on the desert. We have to find it. It will be a long way to go in the shafts, but it is the best back door I know. I bet they don't know about it. If they know, it will be guarded and we just have to kill the guards before they raise the alarm. But many of these hatches never ended in the actual database. We used them all the time when we were kids, but only those who worked here would know of them," I explain.

"So you are gonna rig the whole place with those nukes?" Andronikos asks, grinning

"That's the plan. How we are going to get Theron out before I blow the whole mine to kingdom come...I have to see where he is first and then just improvise." I bite my lips because this part worries me the most. Theron might be hurt, badly.

"Alright Boss. Just like the old days!" Andronikos laughs.

"Just like the old days, mate, just like the old days," I grin back at him.

The tiny shuttle lands on the desert. The first thing I do when we jump out, is hide us. I make a small movement with my hand, connecting to the Force, and we are invisible. More important, the Sith can't sense me. That means I can't use most of my skills because they would break my Stealth. The minute I lose my Stealth, the Sith can sense me and track me. They would have time to prepare. I can't give them any advantage. I just hope nothing makes me lose my Stealth before we find Theron. And after that...I have no intention to hide.

I sit down on the ground, connecting to the Force again. I sense Khem Val. I feel a presence of a powerful Sith Lord, which one, I can't tell. I make every effort to find Theron, and finally, behind all the energetic chaos created by the Sith, I feel him. My heart fills with joy when his faint blue energy pattern forms before my closed eyes. He is here, I was right! He is alive. Nothing else matters. I rise up to my feet.

"He is here. So is Khem Val and a Sith Lord I can't recognize. Let's go, we have work to do," I say to Andronikos who nods to me, and we start searching for the hatch.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

3.

The hatch is where I remembered it is. Not a single guard. I have to smirk, this is going to be a cakewalk, at least until we get to Theron. I have no idea what is waiting for us there. I will figure it all out when I see the situation. But first we have to get in.

The hatch is buried under the sand, and finding it takes some time. Then we notice it is rusty and stuck. I take my saber and with a swift slash I cut the hatch open. I know this mine, and I know these shafts. It may take some time to find my way to the main hall, but failing is not an option. And in we go.

It is dark, dusty and hot. The shaft is narrow and we have to crawl on all fours. Bones of small animals crush under our hands and knees when we are crawling over them. Andronikos curses behind me when he begins to sweat. My robes keep tangling around my feet and I hate it.

"Next time tell me to wear anything else than this skirt," I whisper to Andronikos who begins to cough.

"Next time when we have a reunion on the desert," Andronikos whispers back to me, "maybe we could meet in some nice, air-conditioned hotel?"

"Do you know where to go?" He asks after we have made a turn to left.

"I know. We go first to the main hall, and if he is not there, we start looking from the smaller caves and plant the nukes while we are at it," I answer to him, then I sneeze from the dust.

After what feels like ages, we arrive in a small opening that allows us to stand up, walk a little and rest. I remember this place, we used to hide here as the kids.

"That shaft goes straight to the main hall, maybe half an hour of crawling," I point the shaft to Andronikos. We can't eat or drink, it would break my cover. My body aches, it is spoiled and used in easy life. Andronikos is tougher.

"Boss, you are getting soft," he smirks and slaps my stomach.

"I am. Life as a diplomat is such a waste. But I do get plenty of exercise with Theron..."

"Aaaand I don't want to know more. I forgive you just because you are married, I've heard married couples are allowed to do stuff like that. Let's crawl some more so you can get him back to exercise with you."

It takes less than half an hour when we finally arrive to a hatch ending our crawling. It is not stuck, but makes a creaking sound that is making me grit my teeth when I open it. I peek from the hatch and realise we are not as high as I had hoped we would be.

"We must get all the way up, there are ladders and catwalks, just follow me," I whisper to Andronikos.

"Yes, Boss, I'm used to following your invisible butt..."

I open the hatch wide open and crawl out, Anronikos following me. We are standing on a small platform with ladders going up and down. I lie down on my stomach to see the situation.

In the middle of the large hall is a prison-cell made out of solid light. I see Theron sitting inside of it, legs crossed. He must be meditating. Soldiers and few Sith Warriors are patrolling around the hall. There must be at least twenty of them, probably even more. I can't see Khem Val or the Darth who is with him. Maybe they are in the Executives Office. It is on the other side of the hall, and we can get there through the catwalks. No one knows we are here, so while we are at it, I must plant the nukes.

We begin to climb the ladders as high as they go. Then we begin to sneak on the catwalk and when we see a hatch, I open it and plant an explosive and set it up. Now and then I look down to see Theron through the roof of his cell. He doesn't move, he is just sitting there. He is waiting for me.

When every nuke is planted, we have sneaked through the whole catwalk going around this huge space. I point the Executives Office to Andronikos, he says “no”.

"We have to get Theron out first. If we try to kill whoever is in that office now, we have all those warriors on us," Andronikos whispers to me.

He is right. I look up and see two thick beams right under the ceiling. I point them to Andronikos, and he agrees. I sneak to the back of the hall. From there it is easy to reach one of the beams. Carefully I climb to it and start to crawl on the beam. Andronikos follows. I try not to think how long it is down. I don't like high places, but I can't afford to be scared now.

Finally, I'm right over Theron. Slowly I take the military belt from my shoulder and place it front of me. I have to get his bracelets from my belt too. My hands tremble while I balance myself on the beam, and I really hope I don't have to do this anytime soon again. I sigh when I have everything neatly in front of me, and I can concentrate on locating the control panel of the prison cell. I connect with the Force, I gather the largest, brightest Force Lightning I can make...

 

* * *

 

Theron jumps up when electricity hits to the control panel of his cell. Finally! The walls around him disappear, and then something falls on his feet. A military belt with two blasters and his old bracelets. Theron looks up, seeing Marnh and Andronikos crawling as fast as they can, high on a beam. It takes only few seconds for him to tie the belt around his waist, put on his bracelets and draw the blasters. The Sith have recovered now from their surprise and a voice shouts:

"He is here, get him!"

The alarm is ringing and Khem Val and Darth Decimus are running out of the Office. Khem Val has his vibroblade ready.

"Kill that agent, we don't need him anymore!" The Sith Lord shouts.

"No, they both go to the Emperor!" Khem Val growls. "He must be alive!"

Lightnings begin to rain down from the catwalks. Some soldiers are already up there too, and Andronikos is shooting them with perfect aim. They are making enough chaos for Theron to do his part. He knows who he has to get first.

Theron sneaks to Darth Decimus, who is looking up and haven't noticed that Theron is now armed. When he is behind him, he shouts "toxic four!" A dart leaves his bracelet and hits Darth Decimus on the neck. The corrupted human almost manages to grab the dart away, but then he begins to suffocate from the poison. This dart was made to kill fast, even a Sith Lord. Darth Decimus falls on the ground, grabbing his throat, foam coming out of his mouth. It takes only few seconds for him to die.

 

* * *

 

I see how Theron has managed to take Darth Decimus down and I have one thing less to worry about. But warriors are climbing up and fast. I hit them with my saber, I use kinetic energy to knock them down. I pour lightnings on them. But they are well-armed and strong, and they can use the Force too.

"Theron, go up and find the open hatch!" I shout to Theron, who nods to me and begins to climb. Khem Val hasn't decided who to follow, me or Theron.

"Khem Val, you idiot of a Dashade, you fucking ugly moron, come and get me now!" I yell at him.

Andronikos begins to move in the direction of the hatch too. He keeps shooting the soldiers, and I see we have killed half of them. Khem Val is climbing fast. I decide it is high time to take care of him for good. I throw down one more soldier and I grab a firm hold from my dual-saber. Khem Val reaches me and raises his vibrosword.

"I will devour you finally, little Sith!" He growls at me. I just laugh. And then I hit. I overload my saber with my powers. He tries to land a hit on me, but I manage to shield myself. The catwalk we are fighting on is narrow. It has a railing, but not very sturdy one. I hear Andronikos shooting and swearing. Theron shouts something to him. I begin to back off to the direction of the voices. If I get Khem Val closer to them, they can help me to finish him if I fail.

Khem Val keeps hitting me and I keep evading. Now and then I manage to shock him, or hit him so it hurts, but I'm far from killing him.

"Boss, I'm here!" Andronikos shouts and begins to shoot at Khem Val. The hatch is few catwalks down from me. I look down to see if Theron is already in and that mistake is all it takes to Khem Val hit me in the stomach. I feel how the vibroblade sinks into me. In shock, I look down and I see half of the blade disappearing inside of me. I'm falling on my knees because no way I can stand when that thing is in my insides. Khem Val laughs and pushes the blade deeper into me. I wonder if it comes out from my back. I begin to tremble from the shock.

"Fucking no no no!" Andronikos yells and throws a grenade at Khem Val. He sees it coming, and the last thing he does in this world is to throw his blade at Andronikos. The blade hits him on the left thigh and he slips. In panic, he grabs the railing...and the railing gives up. He falls down, all the way from the highest catwalk to the floor of the mine. The grenade explodes when it hits Khem Val and he falls down with the rest of the railing.

In horror, I look down and I see my friend's unmoving body lying on the floor among the dead Sith Warriors and soldiers, Khem Val's body next to him.

For years I will wake up screaming his name. Every time I wake up from those dreams, the only thing I can see is the frozen look in his eyes when he falls down to his death.

"Marnh, don't look down, don't, come love, we have to go, can you walk, no you can't, then I have to drag you out, please don't faint, you have to guide me out from here." Theron has come to get me to the hatch and keeps talking to me.

"I can't come through it, I'm too injured," I whisper.

Theron looks down. "Maybe we can just go through the front door? Can you hide us?"

"I-I can't. I'm too injured to keep it up even for a minute. And I can't fight. They got Andronikos. I-I think they got me too..." I whisper to him. I feel how blood is making my robes wet. I don't feel pain. I'm too much in shock to feel anything.

"No, they fucking didn't." His fingers dive into the pouch in the military belt. He grabs a water cube for himself and a Kolto-injection for me. He injects me with the Kolto and immediately I feel stronger. But I'm still bleeding too much. Theron rips his shirt and ties it around my abdomen. One of the warriors has climbed up and is coming too close to us. Theron shoots him in the face, and he drops like a stone to the ground.

"We are leaving through that hatch now. You can make it. Come love. Don't give up on me now," Theron says and his voice is like steel. We have to climb few ladders down to get to the shaft and I begin to feel the pain of my injury. I dread to think what parts of me are broken. We crawl into the shaft and Theron closes the hatch after us.

"Give me your saber and make some room, I have to make following us difficult for them. Probably they don't even bother, it is a mess down there," Theron whispers to me. I give my saber to him and crawl a few meters away. The light of the saber fills the shaft and Theron simply welds the hatch from all four sides with my saber. It can't be opened without a brute force.

We crawl forward and the longest, most painful journey of my life begins. I still don't know how I made it. We arrive to the small opening where I rested with Andronikos, and Theron gives me more Kolto and painkillers, because now I'm hurting like hell. It feels like the blade is still inside me, and Khem Val is twisting it, again and again. I'm bleeding through Theron's shirt and I feel how my life is running out of me while we crawl in the shaft that now feels endless.

When we rest one more time and Theron gives me the last Kolto-injection we have, I figure we are almost there. I tell Theron we have to turn right and we will soon arrive to the hatch that leads to the desert. Andronikos' shuttle is not far from it, and Ashara and "The Wanderer" are somewhere up there. Then I give him the detonator.

"What, you rigged the whole place? Man, I love you!"

"I-I did. Nukes. Use this when we get to the shuttle," I whisper, trying to save the last bit of my strength for the final part of the shaft.

We share the last water cube and a kiss. And then I concentrate in staying alive. Frankly, I don't remember getting out of there. Suddenly I just know I lie on the desert and Theron is kneeling next to me. Then the ground shakes from an explosion and Theron carries me in the shuttle.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

4.

Theron opens the comchannel to the shuttle. “This is Theron Shan, are you there Ashara?”

“Yes, yes! They got you out! Do you need medical help?” Ashara answers.

“I don't, but Marnh is in a bad condition. I don't know if he breaths anymore. Please, whatever you have there, get it ready, he is going to die in my hands.”

Theron can't stop his voice from trembling. Marnh looks horrible. His skin has a sickening greenish shade, and when Theron places his hand on his chest he can't feel his heart beating. “Maybe he is just so weak,” he whispers to himself. “God, don't let him die, I will give you anything, just let me keep him!”

Shuttle reaches the ship and Theron drives in. When the airlock closes behind him, he can't get Marnh out of it fast enough. Ashara runs to him.

“Oh no, he needs a Kolto-tank and the only one we have is broken! Bring him to his old cabin. You can take command of the ship. I take care of Marnh.” Ashara places her hand on Marnh's chest.

“His heart...I can't feel it.” Then she finally realises Andronikos is missing. “Wait, what, where is Andronikos? Why isn't he with you?”

Theron just looks at her. How can he tell her that Andronikos is dead, and they couldn't even bring his body to her?

“He...he died, didn't he?” Ashara begins to cry, silent, desperate tears.

 

* * *

 

I'm standing next to Ashara. I see she has put my body on a drip. I walk to the other side of the bed, and there is another drip feeding my body with artificial blood. Ashara is in panic, tears running down her cheeks. Maybe she cries for Andronikos. Poor Ashara. I want to tell her it is alright, I feel really good now. But when I try to speak to her, she doesn't react. I try to touch her, but she doesn't notice. I look down at my body on the bed and it is a pale, lifeless shell.

_Would you die for him?_

Theron, I have to go to see Theron. I think about going to the flight deck and without taking a step, I'm there. Theron is speaking on holocom. I see it is Jace. Theron's face is covered with dried blood, and now I see most of his implant is gone. His jacket is in blood too, but it is not his blood. It is mine. I look down to my abdomen, and I see the shirt he bandaged me with is gone. So is all the blood too. My robes are dry and clean, and there is no wound. No bleeding.

I try to touch him too, but for him I'm not there. My Theron. Can you bare the thought of living without me? Because I start to think I'm dead. Love, I don't feel bad at all. I have no pains and my mind is peaceful. But I wish I could touch you, feel you. I love you so much. Theron ends the call, and is just sitting there, holding his head in his hands. I can see how his shoulders tremble from a silent cry. Please love, don't cry for me. I'm here with you...

...And I'm in Korriban. I stand in the Lord Zash's office. The Sith Academy seems to be very quiet, I can't hear a voice. I peek into the corridor, then to the entrance hall, but not a soul. I'm alone here. Why? I go back to the office, only to see I'm not alone anymore, one person is here with me.

Andronikos is sitting on Lord Zash's chair, grinning at me. He spreads his arms and I run to him, burying my head on his shoulder. Then I begin to cry, and he fondles my back, just like Theron does when I'm crying. It seems I've been crying awfully lot after I left the Imperium.

When I met Andronikos on Tatooine I developed a huge crush on him. For a short time I even believed I'm in love with him. What can I say, I was young and wild and I believed my hormones had feelings. And his body was stunning. He evaded my advances cleverly by bringing a different woman on the ship almost every night. I took the hint and backed off, and when I met Theron I really understood what love is. But me and Andronikos, we have always been close. He was not only my loyal sidekick, he was my best friend. We liked each others company. We had each others back.

“You died,” I cry to Andronikos' shoulder. “I couldn't stop you from falling down. Can you ever forgive me? You are my friend and I let you die!”

“Boss, it was my time to go. Just like it was Khem Val's time to go. There was nothing you could have done to stop it from happening,” Andronikos comforts me.

I lift my head from his shoulder, dry my face and go sit on the floor next to him. I put my hands around my knees and rock myself, back and forth.

“Am I really dead too? Because I think I am. Or did I just finally lose it, am I crazy and hallucinating?”

“No, Boss. You are dead, and Ashara is working hard to bring you back. You see, it was not your time to die yet. You are just so badly injured your soul escaped from your body. You can choose now, either you go back and live your life as planned, or you really die and move on. There is only one thing: If you go back, you have to pay the price. By dying too early you broke the balance and the death has to follow the rules and blah blah blah.” Andronikos spreads his hands looking bored.

“What is the price?” I have to ask. How can I make decisions like these when I don't even understand half of what is happening to me?

“I don't know. The death decides that. But don't be too afraid of it. It is not someone's life, things don't work like that. Paying the price is not about punishing you. It is about balance. It might be something you wanted secretly to get rid of all along.”

“What if I don't go back? I feel really good here.” And I do. I feel warm, comfortable and safe.

“People will mourn you. They will get over it. You move on to the next dimension. Right now we are in limbo, and I came here just to help you. Accidents happen, and you being here is an accident. Time has no meaning here, but if you linger too long, your connection to your body will break and that is a decision in itself.”

“How do you know all of this? You haven't been dead THAT long,” I have to ask from him. Nothing here makes sense. But being dead and talking to your dead friend, it doesn't make much sense anyway.

“I have access to things you need to know. Think it as a huge, intergalactic database. But it is endless. What I need to know to help you, comes to me without effort.”

“Does your database tell what happens to Theron if I don't go back?”

“It does. With 94,5 % probability he will never marry again. He will have some women, because they don't remind him of you. But he doesn't love any of them. Now and then he will drink himself into a stupor in a bar. He goes to a table full of Zabraks, just to enjoy the sight of them. And then he mourns you for days again. Another woman comes, another night drinking, another night spent with Zabraks, and the cycle continues. Deep in his heart he is just waiting to die and meet you again.”

I can't let that happen. No matter how much in pain I might be, no matter how good it feels to be here without worries and pressures of life, Theron is too precious to me. My life might have been miserable before I met him, but after that, the moments of happiness far weighted out the moments of agony. Loving him is the only reason I need to go back to my life. I have time to be dead later. And how many people can say they got _a third_ chance in their life?

Then I remember something.

“Ashara is in love with you, did you know that?” I ask from Andronikos.

“Yep. But you know me, I don't commit. I'm not like you who were committed to Theron even before you met him. I loved her like I would love a sister or a daughter. I had to reject her and I'm afraid she is thinking there was something wrong with her,” Andronikos sighs deeply.

“I will look after her, I promise. On the other hand, I promised to bring you back to her, and look how well that ended,” I sigh back.

Andronikos comes to sit next to me on the floor. To my surprise, he wraps his hands around me and hugs me for a long time. This version of Andronikos does weird things. He would have never hugged me when he was alive. When he finally speaks to me his voice is tender.

“Do you know I cared a lot about you? At first I had to keep you at arm's length, but you really grew on me. You were full of anger and determination. But then I realised you are an incurable softie. A Sith with a heart made out of gold and fairy tales,” he chuckles. “I felt I had to protect you. In the end, I don't know who protected who. I missed you after you left with Theron. Don't get me wrong, I was not jealous or anything like that. You were just such a good friend to me.”

“What did they feed you there in the other dimension?” I look at Andronikos in awe. But he looks very serious, and I can see he means every word he says. Maybe being dead takes away your need to protect your feelings.

“I knew. And I really cared about you too. I'm going to miss you so much. Friends like you...you can't find them, they are given to you if you are lucky enough.” I hug him back. We sit like that for a moment, and then Andronikos stands up, pulling me up with him.

“So, you have decided to go back. That was a right decision, if you ask me. Plenty of time to be here later, but only one, limited life to live,” he then says with a smile.

“How do I go back, do I just...”

 

* * *

 

…And I scream from pain in my mind when I try to get air in my cramping lungs. My heart! My heart, pain is like a black hole that is sucking me in, twisting me, stretching me...

Ashara is pulling an adrenaline syringe from my heart. The needle is long, Gods, was that thing inside of me? I can see she is still crying, tears are dropping on my bare chest and mixing with blood coming from the syringe hole.

”Is his heart beating? Tell me his heart is beating!” I hear Theron shouting from the flight deck, panic in his voice.

”His heart is beating, and his eyes are open!” Ashara cries back.

”Marnh, don't die, please don't die again!” She whispers to me. Her small hands sweep my hair in panic, trying to make me open my eyes again.

”I..I came back...” I wince, and then I lose my consciousness.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

5.

Theron is sitting on a chair next to the hospital bed. He is in his thoughts, holding Marnh's hand in his and pressing his lips on Marnh's fingers. It is early night, the hospital is silent and gloomy. Now and then he can hear footsteps of a nurse walking fast on the corridor.

Marnh spent two days in a Kolto-tank after they got him into the hospital. He was barely alive. On the ship he was dead for at least three minutes. For Theron those minutes felt like three hours. The doctor warned him of a possible brain damage. Marnh's brains were without oxygen all those minutes when his heart was not beating. But Ashara told Theron that Marnh had spoken. He had said "I came back", and then lost his consciousness again. Came back from where?

"Love, where did you go?" Theron whispers.

He startles when he feels someone knocking him on the shoulder. He turns his head, irritated from the disturbance. It is a nurse, telling him he should go home and rest. They will call him immediately if Marnh wakes up.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm his _husband._ When I took that job nowhere in the contract it said I get to _choose_ when I'm there for him and when I'm not. I'm going to be the first thing he sees when he wakes up, period!" Theron snaps to the nurse. The nurse is shaking her head, but gives up and leaves the room.

He turns his eyes back to his husband and keeps fondling his hand. He is so tired. His mind is travelling through time, and he remembers how he felt when he saw Marnh for the first time. He had never believed in love at the first sight. He had never really believed in love at all. He was not like Marnh who confessed he dreamed of love when he was very young. Theron always thought he was far too rational and cynical to believe in fluffy things like love. So love decided to teach him a lesson. He saw Marnh walking to him and Lana on Manaan, and his heart began to race. Suddenly he didn't know where to put his hands, and his feet were really strange too, always going after Marnh in every possible situation. He just couldn't stop himself.

"If I didn't know any better, Theron, I would think you are somewhat infatuated with me," Marnh suddenly had said to him when he, once again, stood next to him watching what he was doing.

"What, me? Into you? That's so...Don't be ridiculous!" Theron blurted out, face hot from embarrassment. But he was. Infatuated. And much more. He was in love. And from that love he never fell out.

Sometimes he thought he hadn't made that many smart decisions in his life, but contacting Marnh was the smartest one. It had felt stupid, insane at the time, but ended up being the one decision that made him a happy man. He was happy with Marnh. Theron knew he was loved. He knew his love was appreciated. What more can you want from life?

He is so very tired. There is an empty bed next to Marnh's. Maybe he really should sleep.

 

* * *

 

I wake up in a hospital. I guess it is night because the room is dark, there is only some light coming out from the machinery around me. When I turn my head with a great effort, I see Theron sleeping on the bed next to mine.

"Theron...love..." I whisper. My throat is dry and sore, my head hurting so much I feel nauseated when I try to lift it in order to see him better. Theron opens his eyes, and then jumps up from his bed right away.

"You are awake! Wait, I will get a nurse here!" He is heading to the door when I manage to whisper loud enough:

"No, don't, not yet. Give me a minute with you."

Theron walks to my bed and sits down. He caresses my face. His touches are feeling so good I begin to cry. Again I cry, and my head is hurting even more. Theron bends down and kisses my dry, cracked lips.

"Welcome back, love," he says and to my shock, he begins to cry too.

"You died! Don't do it again, ever again, you hear me?" Theron whispers to my ear. My cheek is wet from his tears.

And from that I remember Andronikos died. I can't breath. My heart pounds like crazy and I can't breath, no matter how much I try. My chest is filled with lead. Andronikos died because of me. But he said it was not my fault and I couldn't have changed it. And he killed Khem Val. Because Khem Val had to die too. I try to get air but I just can't, I can't...

In panic Theron presses the button next to my bed and a nurse runs into the room. "It is just a panic attack," she says and gives me something and I sleep again. Through my sleep I feel people moving in the room, and I hear Theron's voice, but I'm too tired to answer. I'm too tired for this life. So I just sleep.

Next time I wake up, it's day and the sun is shining in from the windows. The room is filled with sunlight, and when I turn my head I see some red flowers on the end table. Seeing them makes me smile. And I realise my headache is gone, and in every way I feel much better. The door opens and a nurse walks in the room.

"Mr. Shan, you woke up! I will call your husband right away, he has been so worried. He is somewhere in the hospital, I'm sure of it. I would be happy to get a husband like that," she smiles to me. And I have to smile back to her, because I know I'm a lucky man. A lucky man who is alive. The nurse helps me to sit up on my bed, and I realise how weak I am.

"How long did I sleep?" I ask from the nurse after she has called to Theron.

"For two days. First, you were two days in a Kolto-tank, then you were in a coma for three days. You woke up for a moment, got a panic attack and we had to sedate you so you would rest and heal. Do you feel better now?"

"Yes, I think..." I answer. But I feel weird. Something is different in me. Like – something would be missing. I can't put my finger on it, but I just know something in me has changed. Maybe being dead for a moment does that to you? But no, it is not my mind that has changed. It is something in my body. I look at myself, but I seem to have all my limbs. I'm sure I don't look so hot right now, but I seem to have eyes, nose and mouth just where they used to be. Hair, check. Horns, check.

Theron interrupts my studies, bringing two cups of coffee.

"Hello, love! I thought you might need a cup of coffee after your long sleep," he smiles and kisses me. "And am I happy to see you awake! How do you feel?"

I take the coffee from him.

"I feel...strange. Theron, do I look alright to you? I don't mean healthy, but do you notice something being different in me?" I have to ask from him while I sip my coffee. I never realised coffee can taste this good!

"No...well, you are pale and thin, but others you are just like before. Why do you ask?" Theron answers, lifting his eyebrows at me.

"Because...something is different in me."

_If you go back, you have to pay the price._

And then I realise I don't feel Theron. Feeling him when he is close to me has become a second nature to me, I just do it. If he is in the same room, it's just like sitting in his energy. I once asked if he could feel me like that through our connection, but he said no, not like I feel him. He told his instincts could get information from me, he could "read me", but it wasn't the same thing.

"Theron...I think...I can't feel the Force..." I try to connect with the Force, but nothing. Only silence. Where there used to be a thick presence of the Force around me, is now only emptiness. I place the cup from my hand at the end table, and then I tell the cup to fly back to me. The cup stays on the table.

I try to Seethe, and I lift my hands to see if the red mist begins to swirl out of my skin. Nothing. As a last, desperate act I try to produce just a tiniest spark, but it is useless.

I'm not a Force sensitive anymore.

"Marnh, is something wrong? What are you trying to do?" Theron asks from me in awe.

"Theron, I can't feel you. I don't feel the Force. I have no skills. Andronikos told me I have to pay the price if I come back. This is the price I had to pay." I feel bewildered. I gather my feelings for a moment and then I know what this means.

I'm completely free.

"Hold a moment, Andronikos told you? I think you have to explain me all this in Basic, and slowly," Theron says, shaking his head and looking me like I was a ghost.

"This is going to sound so crazy. You see... I died, and I saw you and Ashara. You spoke with Jace on holocom. I was there, next to you. And then I was suddenly in the Sith Academy, in my Master's office. Andronikos was there. He told me it was his time to die, but not mine. I could come back if I wanted, but it would cost me. He didn't know what the price was. So I came back, and now I know what the death took from me." I stop for a moment to study Theron's expression. I decide he takes me seriously.

"Is that even possible? Can someone just...stop being a Force sensitive? Not to mention, talk with the dead people?" Theron looks hesitant.

"I know what happened. I was with Andronikos. Theron, death is not an end. It is just a door. A door we have to go through to get to the next dimension. If there is even more dimensions, I don't know. I didn't ask. The death had to take something from me, and I was afraid what it might be. It took my powers. Theron, I...I don't mind at all!" I let the revelation sink, and no, I don't feel sorry for myself for becoming just an ordinary person. I feel only relieved.

"You know what... I have to believe every word you say. I was on the holocom with Jace at the time your heart stopped. I can see you have no powers. If they stay away, time only tells," Theron says, shaking his head. He is amazing. Have I told you before my husband is the most awesome person in the Galaxy? I throw this stir-crazy phenomenon at him, and he takes it, just like that. Because he trusts me. Because he loves me.

After long silence Theron climbs into my bed. He snuggles himself next to me comfortably. He holds me tight with his whole body. I'm enjoying his warm presence, but then I'm getting sleepy again. Then I notice his implant is gone. I touch it with my finger.

"Ah, that. They broke it so you couldn't contact me. Cybernetics expert here cleaned away the broken parts, but I have to decide if I want to get a new one. It might be I don't," Theron murmurs to my hair. I almost sleep again and I startle when he continues:

"Ashara wants to meet you when you are better. She has been living in our study. I think it can wait until we get you home, alright?"

I just nod and then I fall in sleep, head resting against his chest.

 

* * *

 

After a week they let me out from the hospital. The doctors decide I'm as healthy as a person can be after getting a vibroblade in his guts. Ashara has made a dinner for us, and I can see she really wants to have her talk with me. I don't want to keep her waiting, so after dinner I ask her to come with me on the balcony and we can speak alone.

"I loved Andronikos so much," she begins. "Theron told me how he died. I was devastated, but in reality, it is a miracle he lived this long. I should have known that for him it was impossible to die of old age," she sighs, so much sorrow in her voice.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't keep my promise," I say, and then I hesitate but I have to continue.

"Ashara, when I died...I met Andronikos. He knew you loved him. He was afraid you thought there was something wrong with you because he didn't love you back, not like that. But know that he cared about you a lot. He just was those men who never commit," I tell her while taking her hand in mine.

"The ways of the Force are mysterious... So maybe you indeed met him – or maybe you were just hallucinating. Who knows. I will go to Tython," she says with tight lips while staring at the distance. "I will be a Jedi. I want my life to have a meaning. Without Andronikos... It is just as good I let the Jedi decide what that meaning is."

"I will miss him so much," I sigh. Ashara just nods, eyes dry. I think she has no tears left.

After Ashara has left to Tython, I sell "the Wanderer" and send the credits to her. She sends them back to me, telling me she doesn't need them and we should do whatever we want with them, preferably something nice. So without telling Theron, I book us a trip to Alderaan. I'm an old sap and I want to be a sentimental fool too. We deserve some time to be young again, to remember how it felt to be crazy about each other, not taking one moment for granted.

It is early autumn when we travel and Alderaan is breathtakingly beautiful.

We see that the small restaurant where we had our first date, is still there. We go in, eat and drink and act like two teenagers in hormones, just to remember how it was when we sat here for the first time. How excited we were, how full of hopes and fears. Theron is just as handsome as he was then. But as persons... being together has been an adventure that has changed both of us. I can speak only for myself, but that change was for better. I wouldn't have it any other way.

"You know Theron, I wouldn't mind living in Alderaan..." I think aloud.

"You know Marnh, I wouldn't mind it either," Theron sighs back to me.

"Maybe when we are old and retired...though I wouldn't want to wait that long. Maybe an opportunity arises, who knows," I ponder.

It did. A year later I was browsing on Holonet for estates on sale in Alderaan, and my eyes catch a familiar restaurant. I call the owner right away and he tells me he is retiring and selling the whole business, not only the restaurant. It would come with a small house too.

Theron is all over the place. "This is our opportunity to get out from Coruscant, to be our own masters! Think about it! I pour booze to customers and you cook for them. Or we can hire a cook, and you can just sit there and look pretty!"

I have to laugh out loud. "Soon you tell me you are actually planning to become a brothel keeper and I will become your selling point!"

"Yep, but I get to be your only customer," he says and then he kisses me. What can I say, I've always been weak for his kisses.

So we became restaurant keepers. It is hard work, but we are free, we get to work together and it is great fun. I feel myself blessed every day. Theron says he wouldn't change his life back to his old for any amount of credits. I agree.

My powers never came back.

Sometimes when I wake up from my nightmares, heart pounding, I can hear steps of heavy boots. I can smell him: Cigarettes, hydraulic oil, iron. I hear a whisper: "Boss, let it go," and I feel a light brush on my hair. Andronikos is still looking after me.

 

 


End file.
